It's a Catch-22 World Out There....

It has been so hectic since my last post with the end of the school year before me. The end is nigh, finally. Classes and exams are done. All I have to do is calculate the grades. Yeah, that only takes hours and hours and hours for which I am not paid....

This is how I feel by the end of the school year...

If I knew that my destiny were to teach English as the only means of a low-income salary to stay in France, I don't think I would have chosen this path. Would I? If I were to do it all over again, what would I choose? I fell head over heels for my Frenchie and part of my reasoning was made by my heart. Not logical at all, as Spock would advise. Part of it was also because I was so desperate to have health care. I grew up with a sick mother and the ridiculousness of the health care system in the US. But more and more, I don't care anymore. I just want to earn a decent living. I'm not trying to be rich here. I would simply like to earn my own money so that I can be independent like I was when I was in the States and the first four years I lived in France....

If I knew that I would have to go through one failed fertility treatment after another, being here is an advantage as treatments are of no cost to me. Thank goodness because I certainly am horribly exploited in my teaching job. I don't want to focus only on being reproductively challenged (as Charlotte from "Sex and the City" would say) but I have been feeling down recently because of this in addition to everything else, and the exhaustion that goes with the end-of-the-school-year madness does not help at all. But as my lack of fertility has become a big part of my life (especially since it is such a big deal to have children in this country), I've decided that it isn't something I can filter and hold in. I must "viva voce" it from time to time...

I know that teachers are poorly paid and under-appreciated in general. They are even more so here. There are no "Teacher-of-the-year" awards. No fun conferences to go to in another city. I refuse to do the teacher certification here, the CAPES, because it requires one to two years of arduous, ridiculous and unnecessary work and you may not find a teaching post after all of the blood, sweat and tears. My American brain just cannot accept the constraints of maybe or maybe not passing the CAPES and then having them send me to Paris to one of the most dangerous areas of the city to teach to difficult students that I could never understand and thus, cannot teach. 

When you don't have the CAPES, there are other options like teaching at a language center for professionals. You're badly paid, but you can do a lot of hours because you don't have a lot of outside work. The teaching job that I do have should pay me a teacher's salary that includes the fact that I give exams, give homework and correct all of it which exists in this country as a non-CAPES teacher. But the school where I teach expects me to give exams, etc and pays me the salary of a language center teacher. In my opinion, that's crossing the line of job exploitation that I'm not willing to accept and I am currently trying to decide what to do....

I live in a Catch-22 world. If I quit this job then I wouldn't be able to do what is called "vacataire" positions. This is a type of teaching contract that the university system takes advantage of so that they can hire English teachers without having to be socially responsible for them, thus the reason why you need what is called a "primary employer". Now, I want to keep this article as short and sweet as possible, so I won't go into anymore details. Just believe me when I say that due to the situation I find myself in this country, no wonder I have difficulties getting up in the morning.

I do not like my job. I might find a little more joy with my job if I were paid. I am constantly stressed out. I do not wake up in the morning excited to go to work. If this is what life in France had in store for me, I'd like to give it back. Thank you.

"The End is Nigh" image from http://www.e4africa.co.za/?p=1999
"Catch 22" image from http://lucybaik.blogspot.in/2010/11/catch-22.html
 

And now, photos of Paris (don't forget, folks, I don't live in Paris ;) ). These were taken with my first digital camera, Panasonic Lumix with Leica lens, and my Frenchie's obscure old film camera for a friend who ordered a series of Parisian photos for a cousin who loves Paris. My goal was to simply try to transport the observer to the city. I spent about a week in Paris just wandering around and was paid for it. I wish everyday could be like this - doing something I enjoy doing and making a living at it.

Paris is identified by the Eiffel Tower, la Tour Eiffel, of course! Named after its creator, Gustave Eiffel, it was constructed as the entrance arch to the 1889 World's Fair. It was supposed to be dismantled in 1909, but had become so popular and financially successful for the city that it was allowed to remain and continues to be the most popular and most-visited paid monument in the world. The inspiration for this Tour Eiffel series comes from the original 1889 artwork and photos.

 

Île de la Cité & la Seine

Sacré Coeur and street scenes of Montmartre.

Musée d'Orsay located in a 19th Century train station that houses all of the great Impressionists and more...

Another iconic figure of France: Napoléon! Pictured below is his final resting place, Les Invalides and views of his Parisian bridge, Pont Napoléon.

 

And finally, I can't not include my street photography-ness. I have always been fascinated by the Metro in Paris. It's easy to use and it's like a city within a city. Each station is different with a different energy and a unique look.

 

Amélie's stop in Montmartre ;)

 Above: The view across the street from Père Lachaise cemetary.

Below: A view of the neighborhood where I stayed one night when returning from an exciting day out and about.